If we lowered the drinking age to 18 it would make a difference, along offering classes to grades 6 to 12 on how to be a responsible alcohol consumers. I think that if pre-teens and teens were educated about the risks of alcohol at an early age there would a lot less accidents and they could even spread the word to their friends and save more lives. But things will happen and people do make mistakes but its just life and there isn't much you can do about those who decide to choose the wrongs paths. Personally i believe if teens started to drink alcohol at an earlier age they could get their urges to drink done with before they hit college, that way it wouldn't be such a "big" deal to be drinking. In america its a tradition to get "wasted" on your 21st birthday which builds anticipation and also causes teens to become impatient while waiting to turn the leagal age of 21, to purchase and consume alcohol. In results: underage drinking and binge drinking. If we had classes in our school system that educates youth about the dangers and risks of opening a bottle of "sin" they would understand how important it is to wait and maybe make the decision to not partake in consuming alcohol.
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Hey Ash!,
This piece really shows your voice, you express your own opinions and thoughts with the "I believe..." and the "I think.." which was really good. You also had some good details but I think you need more supporting details and information, it sort of felt like you were winging it with your opinions. Your piece has a nice flow to meaning your sentence fluency is good, you do have word choice, I really like how you used the term "wasted." and I loved your closing statement of your first paragraph it fit perfectly. I feel you can be more specific on your thesis, lowering the drinking age to what? drinking what? what kind of difference a positive one or negative one? Over all your piece was not bad, keep it, good job.